Why Small Talk Matters

Updated: Sep 8

**Small talk matters, because it's the bridge that gets you to the conversations that matter.**

A lot of the women I meet tell me they hate networking because they can't stand making small talk.

To them, the idea of making polite comments about the weather or asking “So, what do you do?” at a networking event feels shallow, awkward, or even like a waste of time.

But here’s the thing: small talk matters, because it's the bridge that gets you to the conversations that matter.

Small talk helps establish comfort, trust, and connection so you can eventually get to the deeper exchanges where relationships (and opportunities) really grow.

So, how can you use small talk in a way that feels natural and leads somewhere meaningful? Here are three tips:

1. Ask “expanding” questions

Instead of sticking with yes-or-no questions, try prompts that invite people to share more of their story.

For example:

“What brought you to this event today?”
“What’s something exciting happening in your work right now?”
“How did you get started in your field?”

These kinds of questions move you past surface-level chatter and open the door to personal experiences, passions, and values.

2. Listen for cues you can build on

Great conversations happen when you listen as much as you talk. Pay attention to details in someone’s response, whether they mention a recent project, a new idea they’re exploring, or even a personal interest. Then follow up by asking with sincere curiosity:

“You mentioned working on a big launch—what’s been the most rewarding part of that?”
“You said you’re into hiking—have you found any great trails nearby?”

Following the thread shows you care and keeps the dialogue moving deeper.

3. Share something real about yourself

Small talk doesn’t have to mean putting on a networking mask. When you share a little about yourself —your challenges, wins, or even quirks— you give others permission to open up too.

It might be as simple as:

“I always feel a little awkward at events like this, but I’ve found some of my best collaborations by just showing up.”
“I’m experimenting with a new idea in my business right now—it’s exciting and a bit scary at the same time.”
Showing up as your true self builds connection faster than perfectly polished conversation.

The Bottom Line

Small talk isn’t the goal, but it's a smart way to get started.

By asking expanding questions, listening for cues, and sharing something real about yourself, you can turn those short, seemingly superficial exchanges into meaningful conversations that fuel your network... and maybe even spark lasting collaborations.

Click here to join us at our next networking event where you can practice your small talk!